Eating Tuna Fish and Thinking About Seinfeld

It's absolutely amazing how many Seinfeld episodes deal with food. The writers are obsessed with references to fruit, candy, baked goods, and of course, cereal. Anyway, I was having some delicious tuna salad at the posh Bedford Springs resort yesterday and I thought I detected a hint of dill, or maybe it was tarragon.

Episode 42 - The Trip (2)

Jerry and Kramer are having a very serious conversation and George can only think about his sandwich:

Kramer: You know, things are going pretty well for me here. I met a girl...
Jerry: Kramer, she was murdered!
Kramer: Yeah, well I wasn't looking for a long term relationship. I was on TV.
George: As a suspect in a serial killing.
Kramer: Ok, yeah, you guys got to put a negative spin on everything.
George: What did they put in this tuna? Tastes like dill, I think it's dill.
Jerry: So you're not gonna come back to New York with us?
Kramer: No no. I'm not ready, things are starting to happen.
George: Taste this, is this dill?
Jerry: No, it's tarragon. Hey Kramer, I'm sorry about that whole fight we had about you having my apartment keys and everything.
Kramer: OK, it's forgotten.
George: Tarragon? Oh, you're crazy.
Jerry: Well, take it easy.
Kramer: Yeah, OK.
George: Yeah, take care. Stay in touch.
Kramer: Hey hey, whoa come on give me a hug...
Jerry: Oh, no...
George: No, you're crushing my sandwich.

All About Turkey

You might think that today's Seinfeld moment would be all about Festivus, but if you did you would be wrong. Today's Seinfeld moment hit me when I was washing down my delicious turkey dinner with some fine Sauvignon Blanc and nearly passed out. When I regained my faculties, I was reminded of the following episode in which Jerry and George were trying to drug Jerry's girlfriend Celia so they could play with her toy collection:

Episode 162 - The Merv Griffin Show

GEORGE: More wine and turkey?
(Pours Celia more wine.)
JERRY: So when I saw George on the street with an 18 pound turkey and a giant box of wine, I thought: ... What a coincidence. We're just about to eat.
CELIA: What is that stuff in turkey that makes you sleepy?
JERRY and GEORGE: Tryptophan.
JERRY: ... I think. Have some more wine.
CELIA: What video did you get?
JERRY: Oh, George brought home movies of his boyhood trip to Michigan.
GEORGE: Four hours.
JERRY: More heavy gravy?
(Celia is sleeping.)

Life Changing Episode

Very few TV shows can cause one to change their eating habits for life, but a Seinfeld episode did exactly that to me, Grumpy Old Man. If you followed my previous blog, Pissed Off in Pittsburgh, you may recall my preoccupation with muffins, and the lack of an acceptable muffin eatery in our fair city. Anyway, ever since the following episode, I find that I always eat muffins using the technique recommended by Elaine Benes. However, I also eat the stump, but only after breaking off the top and eating that first. Just thought you'd like to know.

Episode 155 - the Muffin Tops

Woman: I can't believe somebody pulled the top off of this muffin.
Elaine: That was me. I'm sorry. I don't like the stumps.
Mr Lippman: So you just eat the tops.
Elaine: Oh yeah. It's the best part. It's crunchy, it's explosive, it's where the muffin breaks free of the pan and sort of (makes hand motions) does it's own thing.

Salute to Bill Erwin

I always get a kick out of watching an old movie and identifying an actor playing a small role who also was in an episode of Seinfeld. Watching "Home Alone" for the umpteenth time last night I noticed that the husband of the elderly lady who gave her plane ticket to Catherine O'Hara at the Paris airport was none other than Bill Erwin, who brilliantly played Sid Fields in:

Episode 58 - The Old Man

Jerry: Mr. Fields?
Sid: What!?!
Jerry: Hi, I'm Jerry Seinfeld, the agency sent me.
Sid: Agency? What agency? The *CIA*?
Jerry: No, no, the--
Sid: Who let you in here?
Jerry: The woman, she--
Sid: Oh *her*. She *steals* from me. Steals my money. She says she doesn't speak English. My *ass* she doesn't speak English. Plays that freakin' "voo-doo" music, tries to hypnotize me. She thinks she's gonna turn me into a zombie and then rob me blind. Well, I wasn't born yesterday. I may drop dead today, but I sure as Hell wasn't born yesterday. Now get the Hell out of my house...

Suggestions to Interviewees

As I see groups of well-dressed interviewees around campus, I am reminded of George's interview skills. Just once, I would like to interview a residency applicant who would be unfailingly honest in his/her replies to questions. I have modified the following scene from Seinfeld to indicate my fantasy interview. (Dr. Shapiro is the Chief of our Department).

Episode 86: The Opposite

BOB: Why don't you tell me about some of your medical school experiences?
GEORGE: Alrighty. Ah ... my last rotation was in endocrinology... I uh got an "F" for having sex in an exam room with a patient.
BOB: Go on.
GEORGE: Ah, Alright, before that, I was in Obstetrics. I quit, because the Attending wouldn't let me use his private bathroom. That was it.
BOB: Do you talk to everybody like this?
GEORGE: Of course.
BOB: My daughter told me you were different.
GEORGE: I am different, yeah.
BOB: I gotta tell ya, you are the complete opposite of every applicant we've seen. (gets out of his chair) Ah, Dr. Shapiro, sir. There's someone here I'd like you to meet. (George gets up and goes over) This is Mr. Costanza. He's one of the residency applicants.
DR. SHAPIRO: Nice to meet you.
GEORGE: Well, I wish I could say the same, but I must say, with all due respect, I find it very hard to see the logic behind some of the moves you have made with this fine organization. In the past twenty years you have caused myself, and the city of Pittsburgh, a good deal of distress, as we have watched you take our beloved Department of Medicine and reduced it to a laughingstock, all for the glorification of your massive ego!
DR. SHAPIRO: Hire this man!

Jeopardy Does It Again

For the second day in a row, Jeopardy gave me my Seinfeld moment. In Double Jeopardy, there was an entire category on famous architects. Curiously, George Castanza was not one of the "questions."

Episode 78: The Marine Biologist

See yesterday's post for background - George pretending to be a marine biologist may not be working out.

Jerry: I did it for you.
George: Yeah, but what did you have to tell her that for. You put me in a very difficult position, Marine Biologist! I'm very uncomfortable with this whole thing.
Jerry: You know with all due respect I would think it's right up your alley.
George: Well it's not up my alley! It's one thing if I make it up. I know what I'm doin, I know my alleys! You got me in the Galapagos Islands livin' with the turtles, I don't know where the hell I am.
Jerry: Well you came in the other day with all that whale stuff, the squeaking and the squealing.
George: Why couldn't you have made me an architect? You know I always wanted to pretend that I was an architect.

George Would Have Been Proud

I got my Seinfeld moment today watching Jeopardy. I forget what the exact "answer" was, but the correct question was "what is plankton?" The contestant was probably thinking of the following Seinfeld episode when he incorrectly said "what is algae?"

Episode 78: The Marine Biologist

Jerry has previously been extolling George's virtues with Diane, an old high school classmate.

Jerry: Now I should tell you at this point she's under the impression that you are a.....
George: A what?
Jerry: A marine biologist.
George: A marine biologist....why am I a marine biologist?
Jerry: I may have mentioned it.
George: But I'm not a marine biologist!
Jerry: I'm aware of that.
George: So?
Jerry: You don't think it's a good job.
George: I didn't think it was a job.
Jerry: Oh. It's a fascinating field!
George: What if she calls. What will I say?

(In George's parent's house...George is sitting in a chair. He is talking to Diane on the phone)

George: Algae, obviously plankton, I don't know what else I can tell you, Oh I just got back from a trip to the Galapagos Islands, I was living with the turtles.