Apply Now For Public Urination Passes

Today's post is brought to you by our local newspaper, reporting on an essential piece of legislation for our fair city:

http://postgazette.com/pg/09252/996673-100.stm

Expected to lobby vigorously against the proposal are Jerry Seinfeld and George Costanza, citing the very real risk of an outbreak of Uromysitisis poisoning if this bill is passed:

Episode 23 - The Parking Garage

Jerry has just been arrested for public urination

JERRY I've had this condition since I was eleven! I've been in and out of hospitals my whole life. I have no control over it. Doctors have told me that when I feel it, the best thing to do is just release it. Otherwise, I could die.
SECURITY GUARD Well you're still not allowed.
JERRY Do you hear what I'm saying to you?! I'm telling you that if I don't go, I could die. Die. Is it worth dying for?
SECURITY GUARD That's up to you.
JERRY So you don't care if I die.
SECURITY GUARD What I care about is the sanitary condition of the parking facility.
JERRY It was life and death.
SECURITY GUARD Uh huh.
JERRY Oh I'm lying. Why would I do it unless I was in mortal danger? I know it's against the law.
SECURITY GUARD I don't know.
JERRY Because I could get Uromysitisis poisoning and die. That's why!...Do you think I enjoy living like this?...the shame, the humiliation...You know I have been issued a public urination pass by the city because of my condition. Unfortunately my little brother ran out of the house with it this morning. Him and his friends are probably peeing all over the place. You want to call the Department of Social Services? Oh, it's Saturday. They're closed today. My luck.

This Week With Schmoopy

Here's a piece of first class Seinfeld trivia. George Stephanopoulos, ABC News' Chief Washington Correspondent and host of "This Week with George Stephanopoulos," is married to Alexandra Wentworth. Who is Alexandra Wentworth, you might ask? She is the actress who played Jerry's girlfriend Sheila, aka Schmoopy, in "The Soup Nazi." And since it wasn't entirely clear to George and Elaine exactly who Schmoopy was (Jerry or Sheila, or perhaps both), one could make a legitimate case for calling Mr. Stephanopoulos "Schmoopy". As a matter of fact, I think it would actually make for a much more spirited discussion during the round table if George Will and Sam Donaldson were allowed to address the host as "Schmoopy."

Episode 116 - The Soup Nazi

GEORGE: Yeah. Hey, let ask you something. Is it just me, or do you find it unbearable to be around Jerry and that girl?
ELAINE: Oh, I know! It is awful!
GEORGE: Why do they have to do that in front of people?
ELAINE: I don't know.
GEORGE: What is that with the shmoopy?
ELAINE: Ohh!
GEORGE: The shmoopy, shmoopy, shmoopy, shmmopy, shmoopy!
ELAINE: Oh! Stop it! I know.
GEORGE: I had to listen to a five minute discussion on which one is actually called shmoopy.