Apply Now For Public Urination Passes

Today's post is brought to you by our local newspaper, reporting on an essential piece of legislation for our fair city:

http://postgazette.com/pg/09252/996673-100.stm

Expected to lobby vigorously against the proposal are Jerry Seinfeld and George Costanza, citing the very real risk of an outbreak of Uromysitisis poisoning if this bill is passed:

Episode 23 - The Parking Garage

Jerry has just been arrested for public urination

JERRY I've had this condition since I was eleven! I've been in and out of hospitals my whole life. I have no control over it. Doctors have told me that when I feel it, the best thing to do is just release it. Otherwise, I could die.
SECURITY GUARD Well you're still not allowed.
JERRY Do you hear what I'm saying to you?! I'm telling you that if I don't go, I could die. Die. Is it worth dying for?
SECURITY GUARD That's up to you.
JERRY So you don't care if I die.
SECURITY GUARD What I care about is the sanitary condition of the parking facility.
JERRY It was life and death.
SECURITY GUARD Uh huh.
JERRY Oh I'm lying. Why would I do it unless I was in mortal danger? I know it's against the law.
SECURITY GUARD I don't know.
JERRY Because I could get Uromysitisis poisoning and die. That's why!...Do you think I enjoy living like this?...the shame, the humiliation...You know I have been issued a public urination pass by the city because of my condition. Unfortunately my little brother ran out of the house with it this morning. Him and his friends are probably peeing all over the place. You want to call the Department of Social Services? Oh, it's Saturday. They're closed today. My luck.